Thursday, September 24, 2009

Being Present

"Systems thinking is neutral, nonblaming, nonreactive, and nontrianglne; it seeks to see things the way they are, not the way they should be." (by Peter Titelman)

How present are you in your consultation sessions with your clients? Being present is more than one's ability to focus. It's more than a focus on time. It is also about how much one can sit and discover what is, instead of jumping to what should be.

When do you notice that you aren't being present with your clients? It may be conflict at home that you are having trouble containing. It may be the desire to alleviate the client's sadness with some advice. By jumping to give advice, I think we miss out on helping clients discover what is contributing to their problems.

I am a future focused thinker, so I am always planning, brainstorming, dreaming. I have to consciously force myself to get out of the future and be in the present. When I work on being more present at home, I see opportunities for connection with others. And, when I am truly present in the consultation session, client's are freer to make their own discoveries, building their confidence and trust in themselves. How long can anyone maintain this level of presence? What helps one be present while another is struggling?


Michelle said...

Marci, I read this a couple of weeks ago and it must have been in the back of my brain because I swear I used this exact term today. On the way home from the gym, I said to my boyfriend, "I was really present in my workout today." And he was like "Huh?" I explained to him that I really wanted to focus on what I was doing and make every movement count and be purposeful.

Anyway, that has nothing to do with counseling, but I for what its worth, I totally get this.

PS If it frames the story, we are not gym rats or anything. We are just a couple of people who go to the gym because I cook too much.

Marci P. said...

Thanks for your comment and interest in my blog, Michelle. I agree, being present applies not just to work, but to life. I'm still working on it!