Define Your Work or Someone Else Will

I have heard it described several times. In a relationship, one is either trying to change someone or get someone to change them. One borrows self, and one gives up self. I think this can also be true in business relationships. But, wouldn't it be great to have more equal relationships? To hold onto more of one's "self."


I think we let others define us when we are unsure or unaware. Giving up you can be unintentional. Or, you can cave when faced with pressure and anxiety. The pressure to conform to others definition of your work can be subtle or intense. Anxiety can leak on you from organizations or individuals. Or, you may have your own anxiety. I define anxiety here as a perception that there is a threat to oneself. Anxiety will reduce when you are clearer about how and when you work.

As an employee, you have less financial risk. Leaders of the company are defining more of your work. Making the transition to self employment can be hard. You want to define your work, but you are out of practice and short on time. With more increased financial risk in your work, you have increased responsibility to define your work.

"Are you the creator of your business or are you just reacting to events and people?" (Karyn Greenstreet)

For self-employed people, it's important to develop your own thoughts and boundaries about how you work. Courageously take the time to bring the way you want to work into awareness:

When You Work: No one is telling you what time to come into the office. What times are convenient for you? How many hours a day are realistic for you? How much time do you want off? I currently offer a variety of hours. It is a blend of offering convenient times to those 9 to 5ers, as well as preserving my own family time. Work when you are most productive, yet don't deprive yourself of down time. Entrepreneurs have a lot of ideas about their business, so there is a tendency to let their business take all of their energy. I find having set work hours, helps me set boundaries with myself and with others.

What You Charge: Know why you charge your fee. Be comfortable saying your fee. And, ask for your fee. Decide whether your fee is negotiable before you start working with a client. I accept a lower fee because I'm currently accepting insurance reimbursement for counseling services. This is my "sliding scale." If you know how much you need to collect to make a profit, you will more confidently present and ask for your fee.

Who Are Your Clients: A common anxiety for self employed people is having enough clients to pay the bills. Everyone wants to have a good income stream. At the beginning of my practice, I think I worked with almost anyone that called my office. I learned that it's not just how many clients I have, but also which clients best fit the way I practice. When you work with clients that are looking for the kind of service you offer, you will find your energy multiplies instead of depletes.

In my field, many people want to define how I work - courts, school, insurance companies, families, and individuals. I want to practice in a way that is true to me. This is when I do my best work.

What about you? Where do you want to better define your work? Carve out the time to decide who, what, and when of your business.

Introduce Yourself

Thank you for my visiting my blog. I am a self-employed counselor in the Kansas City, Missouri area (USA). I offer individual, marriage, and family consultation as well as small business coaching for self-employed people. I blog on topics relevant to creating a successful and fullfilling business. I'm passionate about coaching people to reach their potential in both life and work.

It's your turn now. I want to hear from you. Tell me about yourself. Who are you? Where are you? What do you do? And, what do you want to read about on this blog?

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Top 3 Benefits of Self-Employment

While being self-employed is not for everyone - I think it is a perfect fit for me. I've known that I wanted to provide psychological services in a private practice setting since I was a Senior in High School. Instead of telling you how old I am, just know that almost 2 decades have past since I had that dream. Although the journey to self-employment has been gradual, I am here and I love it. Why do I love being self-employed? Here's the upside...

Autonomy: I enjoy being my own boss. There is some financial risk with being self-employed, yet with increased financial commitment comes increased voting power in making decisions. I like making all the decisions, including how much I want to pay myself, when I want to work, how much time I want to take off. It took me many years to become this decisive; as knowing what I want, don't want, what works, doesn't work takes time to learn and define.

Creativity: There is always something to learn. While it's nice to have quiet time, I do love learning. It fuels my creativity to design the vision and plan for my business. I don't perform as well when others define my work for me. My creativity multiplies when I answer the questions myself. For instance, I may decide to learn a new way or marketing, and I can carve out time to learn everything I want to know and still provide an income for my family.

Flexibility : Again, I can work when I want, including flexing my schedule when unexpected absences due to work/weather arise. If I want to lower childcare expenses, be around when my kids aren't in school, I can. And, once your business is thriving, it opens up more financial flexibility. I get to decide what I need to do to give myself a raise. I even have the flexibility to decide which clients I accept and which I don't think are a good fit for my approach.

If you are considering becoming self-employed know there is risk with success. Building a business takes time. Know what's realistic. Interview or shadow people who have made it happen in your area of interest. Start small and dream big.

"The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but who is without a dream." (Harry Kemp)

Strivinvg for Work-Life Balance

I used to think that balance was something one could attain. Yet, I am learning that my life is either moving toward or away from balance. "Balance is a fluid state, always in motion, because life itself is dynamic" (Co-Active Coaching, p. 8). Balance like energy comes and goes. The good news is we can get better at predicting what helps us move toward more balanced living.

Adults feel pulled in many directions. The pull comes from wanting our children to learn, succeed, and be entertained. It also comes from wanting to be the best at our jobs as well as having fulfilling family roles, friendships, and community contributions. What is really realistic to accomplish in a lifetime? in a day?

Although there is no formula for always being in balance between work and family, I do think we can look for markers to remind us that we are getting out of balance. For instance, maybe it's thinking negatively about a spouse or developing a tension headache. What are your markers that you are out of balance?

Being self employed and mother of two young children is hard yet rewarding work. One thing that helps me move toward balance is having set work hours. Recognizing when work ends and life/family begins is important for me to define. I can easily become engrossed in my work. Like my kids, I need routines and structures to help me set boundaries.

Lastly, learning that saying yes to something means saying no to something else. Remembering that I can't do it all, and my kids don't have to be exposed to every opportunity. And, slowing down to experience quiet, rest, and relaxation are necessary nutrients in my desire to move toward more balanced living. What works for you?

(c) Copyrite 2009, Marci Payne, MA, LPC

May not be duplicated or reprinted without permission

http://privatepracticeconnection.blogspot.com

Being Self-employed during economic changes

Welcome to the first posting of my blog! It is intended for anyone interested in starting or growing their practice, both practically and clinically. Even though economic changes are occurring in our country and community, I think it is time to keep growing your small business! There will always be slow times, and business will ebb and flow. And, sometimes family and/or personal emergencies will take you away from your business. My sanity saver is having 3 months of business expenses saved (thank you Dave Ramsey).

What do you do when your business slows down? The possibilities are endless: marketing, training, organizing, evaluating, dreaming, and even relaxing! Are you do for a break from the time management pressures of being self-employed? Or, do you take the opportunity to enjoy some down time, get out of the office, and do something for yourself? Use the time to return yourself to balance. Or, do something for your business that you've been wanting to do, but haven't had the time to do.